JKK’s Annotations [#2] to the School of Life’s “Eight Rules”
Rules" found here (text in the public domain). Video version on youtube .
In brief the eight rules are:
1. We are imperfect; 2. Cultivate (True) Friendships, 3. [Be vulnerable] Know [admit] your Insanity, 4. Accept your idiocy, 5. (You’re) Good Enough, 6. (Go) Beyond Romanticism, 7. (Develop) Cheerful despair, 8. Transcend yourself
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(The main text below is from the School of Life [=SOL]. The italicized parts are my own [jkk’s] annotations)
Eight Rules of The School of Life
The School of Life has produced 500 films and written 5 million words. This is an enormous problem. To stand any hope of remaining in anyone’s mind, ideas – even very good ideas – need to be brief and reduced to an essence. That’s why, for the sake of our followers, we’ve summarised everything we believe down to eight key points: the credo of The School of Life.
1. ACCEPT IMPERFECTION
We are inherently flawed and broken beings. Perfection is beyond us.Despite our intelligence and our science, we will never stamp out stupidity and pain. Life will always continue to be – in central ways – about suffering. We are all, from close up, scared, unsure, full of regret, longing and error. No one is normal: the only people we can think of as normal are those we don’t yet know very well.
[jkk] This seems to be a reaction to the false, glitzy "perfection" that the mass media presents to us all the time. We are surrounded by seemingly perfect images of humans, things, and nature in the media all the time. This gives us a "false expectation” that life should always be beautiful and perfect (“Romanticism”). Hence, the SOL urges: we have to remind ourselves that we are imperfect, crazy, hurting, idiots because those aspects are, in many deep ways, the more usual and prevalent human characteristics.
2. Being VULNERABLE - the Foundation of True Friendship
Recognising that we are each one of us weak, mad and mistaken should inspire compassion for ourselves – and generosity towards others. Knowing how to reveal our vulnerability and brokenness is the bedrock of true friendship, which we universally crave. People do not reliably end up with the lives they deserve. There is no true justice in the way that rewards are distributed. We should embrace the concept of tragedy: random terrible things can and do befall most lives. We may fail and be good – and therefore need to be slower to judge and quicker to understand. Those who have failed are not ‘losers’; we may soon be among them. Be kind.
[jkk] This deals with the horizontal aspect of human life - our relationship with others. We usually wear metaphorical masks in front of people we don't know too well. We even do that with people we know well for fear that they would reject us! These metaphorical masks hide our struggles and give us a beautiful exterior. This is also true with things we post on social media. The SOL’s principle #2 tells us that only vulnerability (the ability to show who we really are, especially our not-so-good aspects) on our part and acceptance by the other (and vice-versa) will give birth to the authentic friendships that we deeply desire.
3. KNOW YOUR INSANITY (jkk: I think “insanity” here means: the aspects of ourselves that depart from what is considered "normal" and "respectable")
We cannot be entirely sane, but it is a basic requirement of maturity that we understand the ways in which we are insane, can warn others we care about what our insanities might make us do—early and in good time and before we have caused too much damage—and take constant steps to contain rather than act out our follies.
[jkk] "Insane" is a strong word and it's deliberately being used for shock effect. That is, each one of us have pretty stark "deviations" from what is considered "normal" and "respectable" in conventional society.
We should be able to have a ready answer – and never take offence – if someone asks us (as they should): ‘In what ways are you mad’?
[Childhood] Most of the madness comes down to childhood, which will – in a way unique to our situation – have unbalanced us. No one has yet had a ‘normal’ childhood; this is no insult to the efforts of families.
[jkk] Childhood is an important theme for the SOL and I
wholeheartedly agree with it. In order to understand ourselves well, we have to
understand our past history, especially our "childhood" and the many
formative and “deformative” (negative) experiences we've had in our growing-up
years.
4. ACCEPT YOUR IDIOCY ([jkk] Bluntly speaking, this means: There is a lot of foolishness and stupidity in us)
Do not run away from the thought you may be an idiot as if this were a rare and dreadful insight. Accept the certainty with good grace, in full daylight. You are an idiot but there is no other alternative for a human being. We are on a planet of seven billion comparable fools. Embracing our idiocy should render us confident before challenges – for messing up is to be expected – comfortable with ourselves, and ready to extend a hand of friendship to our similarly broken and demented neighbours. We should overcome shame and shyness because we have already shed so much of our pride.
5. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH
The alternative to perfection isn’t failure; it’s to make
our peace with the idea that we are, each of us, ‘good enough’. Good enough
parents, siblings, workers and humans.
‘Ordinary’ isn’t a name for failure. Understood more carefully, and seen with a more generous and perceptive eye, it contains the best of life.
Life is not elsewhere; it is, fully and properly, here and now.
[jkk] This is the more sober kind of optimism that the
SOL advocates, not founded on a facile and unrealistic optimism (Don’t forget:
reality is often quite grim), but on a realistic assertion and upholding of an
attainable ideal – TO BE just “Good Enough.” This realistic, sobering goal can
actually be quite an accomplishment, given our human weaknesses and the world’s
insanity.
6. OVERCOME ROMANTICISM
[jkk] “Romanticism” (as it is used by the SOL) refers to “the attitude that trusts in feeling and instinct as supreme guides to life, and a corresponding suspicion of reason and analysis” (The School of Life Dictionary, p. 201).
‘The one’ is a cruel invention. No-one is ever wholly
‘right’ nor indeed wholly wrong.
True love isn’t merely an admiration for strength; it is patience and compassion for our mutual weaknesses. Love is a capacity to bring imagination to bear on a person’s less impressive moments – and to bestow an ongoing degree of forgiveness for natural fragility.
No one should be expected to love us ‘just as we are’. Learning and developing are at the core of love. Genuine love involves two people helping each other to become the best version of themselves.
Compatibility isn’t a prerequisite for love; it is the achievement of love.
[jkk] I think this is one of the truly insightful
teachings of the SOL. It is brutally frank but that is necessary in this world
that is usually overrun by romanticism. (Note that romanticism is experienced
differently by the privileged and underprivileged)
7. DESPAIR CHEERFULLY (a calm yet "cheerful" melancholy might be the best and most realistic attitude to life)
We are under undue and unfair pressure to smile. But almost nothing will go entirely well: we can expect frustration, misunderstanding, misfortune and rebuffs. We should be allowed to be melancholic. Melancholy is not rage or bitterness; it is a noble species of sadness that arises when we are open to the fact that disappointment is at the heart of human experience. In our melancholy state, we can understand without fury or sentimentality that no one fully understands anyone else, that loneliness is universal and that every life has its full measure of sorrow.
But though there is a vast amount to feel sad about, we’re not individually cursed and against the backdrop of darkness. Many small sweet things should stand out: a sunny day, a drifting cloud; dawn and dusk, a tender look. With the tragedy of existence firmly in mind, we can take pleasure in a single, uneventful day, some delicate flowers, or an intimate conversation with a friend. We can learn how to draw the full value from what is good, whenever, wherever and in whatever doses it arises.
Despair but do so cheerfully: believe in cheerful despair.
[jkk- To be honest, I feel conflicted about this
principle because I feel that this message will often not stand the test of
really tough and tragic life-experiences. Because it encourages us to be
cheerful without suggesting a possible reason why we should be. Instead, it
might eventually lead to depression, nihilism, despair and even suicide.]
8. TRANSCEND YOURSELF
We are not at the center of anything; thankfully. We are
miniscule bundles of evanescent matter on an infinitesimal corner of a
boundless universe. We do not count one bit in the grander scheme. This is a
liberation.
[On the one hand, this can be a powerful, humbling thought that “puts things in perspective.” On the other hand, I don’t think it works all the time. It can push people over the brink of utter hopelessness and despair. Hence, I have quite a few reservations about this principle. Moreover, it conflicts with the assertions of most spiritual-wisdom traditions which firmly uphold that although the human being is a puny, little creature, every single one is precious in the eyes of the Divine Spirit -jkk]
Rather than complaining that we are too small, we should delight in being humbled by a mighty ocean, a glacier, or planet Kepler 22b, 638 light-years from earth in the constellation of Cygnus.
We should gain relief from the thought of the kindly indifference of spatial infinity: an eternity where no-one will notice, and where the wind erodes the rocks in the space between the stars. Cosmic humility – taught to us by nature, history and the sky above us – is a blessing and a constant alternative to a life of frantic jostling, humourlessness and anxious pride.
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[The Importance of Review and Repetition] A final point: some of this may sound
convincing. But that isn’t enough. We know – in theory – about all of it. And
yet in practice, any such ideas have a notoriously weak ability to motivate our
actual behaviour and emotions. Our knowledge is both embedded within us
and yet is ineffective for us.
For this reason, we need to go back over things. Maybe once a day, certainly once a week. A true good ‘school’ shouldn’t tell us only things we’ve never heard before; it would be deeply interested in rehearsing all that is theoretically known yet practically forgotten.
That’s why we should keep the eight rules in mind – and why the next step is to subscribe – and to return here often.
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(The comments
below are jkk’s)
Some Critical Reactions and Reflections
The School of Life (SOL) is not "ideology-free" or completely "objective" as it claims to be; Nobody/no school is entirely objective. Everyone is advocating a particular point of view and that is, yes, an ideology. Let me express what I think are some central presuppositions and “agendas” of the SOL.
[Atheism - SOL's Presupposed Worldview] With regard to God and the supernatural, the SOL presupposes that there is of course no real objective truth in the idea of God or the supernatural. However, religion is an important field to study in order to know humanity better and because it has some useful things to teach us apart from its mythological teachings (which are neither true nor useful anymore).
Alain de Botton (ADB), the SOL’s co-founder—I would say—lives in a universe that--he believes--is just physical. Therefore, he says that we humans are just "evanescent material without any significance" in a tiny corner of the vast universe. This is a good example of a post-Enlightenment, thoroughly secularized worldview - a worldview philosopher Charles Taylor calls "disenchanted" (not imbued with the supernatural).
[Existensialism] Moreover, the philosophical position of existentialism is advocated. Existentialism is the point of view that claims that Life is, in the final analysis, "absurd.” Existentialism is an important foundational base of the SOL's general philosophy of life.
For more on this, see its video on the philosopher AlbertCamus and the Flood.
An Alternative Worldview - That of the World’s Spiritual-Wisdom
Traditions
In this course of study on life's various perplexing issues, in order to balance out the positions of the SOL, I will make frequent reference to “our ancestors.” (By “ancestors” I refer to the people who lived before us who had “more traditional” worldviews and were deeply religious.) Our ancestors saw life differently from the SOL. They lived in an "enchanted" (religious) universe. .... The reality of Spirit was the most important and the greatest reality for them. They were part of some of the world’s great religious-wisdom traditions. These wisdom traditions still claim: If you live within that “Greater Reality,” life arguably has greater meaning. I personally also think that within such a religious outlook on life, it's harder to slip into nihilism and hopelessness.
I would like to invite you to weigh both positions carefully and think critically about each one's merits and demerits.
My reflections on the 'School of Life within a Greater Reality' is found here.
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